Music in my eardrums....yet again. Playlist titled "Home". All sweet melodies that make my soul expel what feels like warm rainbows that I'm sure a wiccan would see. Home is that warm-fuzzy feeling that makes you content with the world, thanking the Universe(God) for bringing it's wrath upon you and being able to walk away, completely beaten and yet barely scathed. Fuck you, Universe. Not fuck you like I hate you, fuck you like a friend that's bustin your ovaries(balls). I'll take all the shit you can bring.....literally. This ping-pong match is far from over. I know you'll aim for my left-side, and I'll laugh at my failed-returns, but I'll stay in the game. Home is that appreciative sense of being-protected, loved, grateful, generous, completely and utterly spoiled. The Universe continuously reminds of how it is gentle and kind, and don't piss it off. Life is so much easier when we look at everything we have as a blessing, the rough shit can be terrible...and I hate how much people say "forget the past". Im-fucking-possible. You can be a strong-ass female, and you can say that bullshit-mantra to yourself for as long as you want...but it ain't goin nowhere. You make the past your bitch. Smack the past around, mentally pimp-smack it like it stole your money. Actions of your past are to serve as a guide. What did you say...how did you handle it....how should you have handled it.....don't do it again. Your past is a mountain that you climbed like an Everest of emotions. You can give your heart away as much as you want....fact is...it's yours. It pumps blood through that body, heals it, and will self-destruct at it's own time. That heart is forever yours. YOU need that to live. However, on occasion, I have definitely felt like mine just decided to take a vacation, go somewhere on a beach, lounging on a hammock in the shade.....watching the sun set, while sipping a delicious, tropical fruity-drink.
I feel like I got off topic. I know I wanted to write a piece on how grateful I am with my life despite the fact that I've been cerebrally sucker-punched. Taylor Swift obviously has been. She's on right now, this chick swims in past-mistakes. Like, she's taking laps in her own tears. I guess continuous heartbreak is worth millions of dollars. That John Mayer is an asshole though....she was definitely to young to be messed with. Alright, Taylor....not now. (changing the song) "Scar Tissue" feels just right, right about now. I love the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Their infamous Halloween show was in Minneapolis this past year.....and I'll regret not getting tickets for that for awhile....sighhhhhhh. Music has always been in my life consistently....helping me through the Universe's challenges, holding the ice on my swollen soul after a triumphant win. You just gotta remember......fucking win.