Spring Fling

I usually have some kind of background ambiance, whether it's the latest hipster gossip in a coffee shop, some t.v. show, or music. My dweeb-dwellings, but at this moment, it's the man of my dreams working on lyrics at my cluttered and totally girllied-out desk. Oddly enough, I'm sitting in his studio and his giant, musical-man station. You could say, cheesily, it's "where the magic happens". But it's true. I'd say this is a first for us, I guess that's where the moment struck him, and I don't want to disturb the direction of his flow, wherever it's going, but he is pretty damn excited about it. I love the sounds of glee the I hear through the open door. (As I sat typing this, he walked in on me, I was just about to type that this occurrence happened more than likely because he more than likely assumed I would be sitting on the couch) My assumptions were correct after I let him read what I had just wrote after he started giggling about how I was at a desk. My Baloo. I love when he giggles. He is my mansquatch, at a stature between 6"4 and 6"5 he isn't the most tiny man, wearing his at least 275 lb figure like a suit of armor. If you think about it, Baloo the bear was also a rapper, "When you pick a paw-paw or a prickly-pear, and you pick a raw paw, well next time beware....." and so on. I love Disney movies. Like most women, I'm a sucker for a fairy tale. Beautiful woman, man of her dreams, and badass high heels. My fairy tale has came true, but like most women, of my generation, fairy tales have quickly been stomped out like a fire, ignited by the flames of passion. I refuse(d) to believe that dreams cannot come true, aside from the obvious "I wish I had real pink unicorn with golden hooves for a pet".
             With every day that I am truly in love, I think of how I learned what real love was. I saw my Mama fight for it. I saw her relentlessly try to make it work, in every scenario. Through all the tears, there was a purpose. My Mama taught me how to survive in love, one of the biggest tests of our lives. If you can come out of heartbreak stronger, that is what the relationship was there for. They say "Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned", and we know that an angry woman is a force to be reckoned with, and my Mama showed her ass, all the while teaching her daughters to fight for what you want and don't take any shit. As a woman, I'd say she's pretty on-point. I know she has regrets, and which one of us doesn't, but Pamela Marie has taught me all the survival skills in love, complete with a  first-aid kit of sayings that will accompany you as mantras on the path of righteousness. My personal favorite, "You have the world by the balls". She has never faltered in telling her children how much we deserved to be loved, how much we deserved to be happy, and how much to love. Such girls that believe in fairy tales need their tour guides to show them the heart-workings and how to spot a true prince. She's bound to disagree with a prince from time to time, but that's just the lioness protecting the cub. With Mother's Day approaching fast, I hate that I won't be able to give her a hug and thank her another day for being her.
           I'm sorry if you don't have a mother like mine, but I'm sure you have someone that has had that affect on you, and if not, you can get a hold of my mom, she is there for anyone whenever she can. I told her not too long ago, even if her children don't always get along famously, she taught us all to be generous, kind, and forgiving. (Unless you've screwed us over more than twice since she has always given people a second chance, but more than that and you're pushin it)
         Anyways, I know this has been a long blog and I appreciate your reading. I know it's not the usual tune of my shenanigans, but I feel like a different chord has been struck recently and I must go with the melody. I hope you all have a wonderful spring, and may you all be safely flung.

                                                                                                    Yours truly,

                                                                                                           Breezy

When the Moment Spanks You

Sometimes you have to work, sometimes you have to eat, and sometimes you just need to sit the fuck down and let your fingers communicate your words on keys to a screen. Give the world a taste of the words that are scrolling fast through the front of your eyes like a marquis displaying the best bargains in town. Well, here it is, the best Breezy in town, sweet with a sour aftertaste....to some folks. Every time I want to sit down and write I get side-tracked. I always want to watch something or play something, read something or listen to something, or eat something, or drink something...... or smoke something.(I'll leave that to your wild imaginations) So many things that I have to choose from. Life is full of choices, seems like everyone says that, but it is. One of life's truest statements. Right now, at this very moment, I'm choosing to type, to sit in my desk chair that has a slightly comfortable lean to it, to watch the t.v. out of my side-vision, just so I can see the movements of the ultimate fighters that are almost dancing to the Chopin that I am choosing to guide me in the flow of my words. Like my name, I flow.
                  A few months have gone by since I've last wrote and I apologize, mostly to myself. As a human enjoying this life, it is of my choosing to decide what happens by the choices I make. Choices, choices. I am struggling with my choice to write this blog and fighting the other part of my brain that is begging me to pick up the paperback and watch from afar as Anastasia Steele tries to piece together the "fifty shades of fucked up" puzzle that is Christian Grey. That E.L. James sure knows what an 80's baby likes to feed her soul, and apparently soccer-moms from what I've read.
                   You are choosing to read this, dipping your toes into my brain-pool. Trust me, the waters fine. I think more people need to write. I think more people need to talk about who dwells inside and let the world know who you are, who knows, we might see each other for far more fascinating than the original perception. Unfortunately, so many people choose to lock themselves up, caging themselves. Let your soul sing, express yourself in the only way you know how because that's the agreement that your heart and mind shook on. Ugh, this piano is making me sappy, I want to cuss and talk about hairs that get stuck in the back of your throat during oral sex and make you almost throw up. (It's so funny when they think it's because of how big they are) ;) That was one for my ladies. See, when I type dirty words to a beautiful piano-piece it feels like I just spray-painted over the Mona Lisa. I choose to be raunchy yet classy. I choose to love. I choose to wear my boyfriends Adidas pants and a mis-matched long-sleeve shirt with my hair in a rat's nest on top of my head. I choose to tell you about my choice to be me. The battle that is truly good vs. girly-evil. I promise to do my best to be me, as long as you promise to just..... Be you.
                 

Livin' it Uptown.

       Workin on a new blog, in the living room of our new apartment in Minneapolis, in the great state of Minnesota. A little over one week, and this new nest of creativity is warming my soul in more ways than one. Each day screams with opportunity in a bitch-tone, all I hear is "Hey! Bitch you better get that shit done!", "Today will be over soon!! But step it up because after today there is also tonight!! You'll never get this day back!" ......."You better not waste ANY TIME!!". And I must admit, I enjoy that encouragement. You have to take what is yours in life, the ability to like, go to a park and paint a picture, not like take things you aren't supposed to take. (refer to Dexter, don't "TAKE IT!! like that.) Sorry to all who do not watch Dexter. 

                Moving on, life in Uptown is wonderful. Great food so far...Shout out to Savoy's and Pizza Luce'. Absolute deliciousness, if I had to choose a fav between the two....Savoy's is winning me over, mostly because to be completely honest, I'm a cheesy kind of girl. Seeing as I will eat anything that is considered "cheese". Slim Jim pack with the cheese, the cheese that is so delicious as it turns to particles in your mouth. MMMM. Yeah, I love milk in it's solid form. A whole friggin lot, and Savoy's....killin' it in the cheese-game.Like, I question if I could eat it with extra cheese. HA! Of course I could. But I am all about some Uptown food. Lyndale Taphouse for happy hour was a great choice to make. You gotta get hip to some gravy on some french fries!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!! And absolutely delicious Lousiana shrimp!! Only downside, got alot of spices and buttery-goodness on my fingers so was a bit messy, but the hot/moist towels helped there!! Looking forward to some bakeries and seafood spots in my near future!

            I have been listening to Yeezy's "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" as I have been writing this. I really hope to at some point in my life, I wanna end up being totally schwasted in the V.I.P. area in some swanky place with Kanye. rappin with him in "Monster". It's been a rough ride with Yeezy, as a female, but I do appreciate the lyrics and rhythm. The honesty in "Runaway" always resonates in my head, appreciating Mr. West's display of character present throughout the entire track. I know, it came out a while back, well I still love this album, and I'll wear it out like a new pair of flats, complete with bows on the toes. 

               In closing, I'd like to thank you for reading, and stay-tuned for some sweet stuff!! :)

                                           

                                                                                                     Love,

                                                                                                             Breezy

        

Just swell :)

Sometimes

Sometimes, things are fantastic. Sometimes, everything is fine. And yet still, sometimes, everything comes crashing in such a ( I keep trying not to type the f word but I just feel like it seriously needs to be stated after the "a" and I just can't think of any other word that would go better, I just feel like it needs to be there, like it just has to be there because that's exactly how it is! but I'm still gonna say it.) FUCKING way, that life seems to just pass, hours are things to be handled with longings of next month, next year, five-year anniversary ( never had one of those, always been curious).
    I keep wondering what exactly is the purpose behind this blog? Should I pour out my soul? Should I vent about my job as a chili-slangin server? Or should I just talk about how awesome it is to be in real love with someone? The type of love that you can't even write songs about because it's as if no words would ever be good enough to describe a love like this. Or should I talk about the family that I love so much that inspires me to try and be the best person I can be even if we argue constantly because we all have endured the "21st-Century Survival of the Fittest". The times where now it isn't a surprise if Mom or Dad has been remarried a few times and a slew of step-brothers and step-sisters are added to your family tree. I ramble.
      My name is Breezy, I'm 25, slightly depressed, in love, and know more about certain video-game zombies than a girl should. My Prince Charming actually got me to play with him the other night, I was hesitant, not because I knew I would suck, but because my fear of zombies is one of certain terror. I mean, this chick is completely horrified of the undead. I mean, I'm so scared of zombies that that is why I would like to own a gun, not because I have a vagina, well, that as well, but also because who knows when I'm going to be walking into my house one night and one of those 28 Days Later zombies comes out of nowhere and and goes straight for my jugular. I don't think zombies would be as scary if they couldn't groan, but they would be easily detected that way, but then we'd have to live in a completely silent world and that just wouldn't be ok, then I wouldn't get to listen to Weezy's "Green and Yellow" and that just WOULD NOT be ok. Go Packers.

Winter Cloak of Invisibility

       I hate Winter, and I hate snow, and I hate copy-and pasting "t"'s more than anything. But, I am doing it yet again, and switching with the control-v option but that's just making me nauseas with the left to right eye-movement. I'll stick to copying and pasting since the only other available computer in the house is one made for left-handed people, so that one makes me feel like I keep pressing the wrong keys. Both drive me crazy, but I really can't complain, seeing as I have access to the internet and computers, even if they make me truly believe that I'm reincarnated from the fifties, a girl that longs for a day of wearing an apron, baking a pie as I stare out my kitchen window, gently smiling as I gaze at my perfect grass and white-picket fence. *cymbals crash* No, I'm here, it's 2011 and computers run the world, so I must adapt, even if it means constant migraines from staring  at this heavenly screen with it's halo-cursor. Stay blessed.

Call of Writing Duty

   The ending of a wonderful Saturday nite is right now. The Ying for my Yang is seated next to me on the left, I see his right hand hand through my left peripherals gently gripping his cigarette while shooting strangers around the globe through his video game console of choice. I on the other hand am getting lost in the Chicago soundtrack through his giant headphones, Rene' Zelwegger ( or however you spell it) 's voice is serenading me while I get lost in yet another computer screen. But this one has t's that work, it's pretty awesome. I think alot of people take t's for granted. I mean, everyone knows that vowels are important, but there are some pretty damn important consonants that you don't even think of until the moment comes when one doesn't work on your little sister's keyboard that you shouldn't be using since you were supposed to get a refurbished laptop for your birthday in October, but we're still waiting on a screen and it's January. Right? I hate the fact that I am fighting making smiley faces with semi-colons and closed parentheses. See what technology has done to us?? Well, some of us, neither of my two older brothers have ever used semi-colon-closed-parenthases-smiley faces with me. But then again, they also both own the movie Boyz N' The Hood and play in Fantasy Football leagues every year.
            Is it just me or does Richard Gere's singing voice make you just smile like an idiot? I don't know what it is about that guy but seriously, I'm pretty sure his role in Chicago put him at the top of the list with me, and he doesn't look too shabby with gray hair, that's a fear with women. How is he going to look with gray hair???? Hmmmm. Like Richard Gere??? I wouldn't mind. I gotta say, watching the view of a first-person shooter and listening to jazz music are probably two of the best things to ever happen. I keep getting  possessed by the piano rhythms, imagining that each push of a letter is a different key, feeling the music while my left eyes twitches from the recent flash-floods in the brain river. Time heals everything right? What we cannot change do we not ask for serenity? I used to. Now, as I'm kinda growing up, I realize that sometimes you just need to not give a fuck. Uh-Oh! F-word alert! I'm not going to apologize either. Welcome to my generation. The generation that watches Jersey Shore and recites Kanye West Lyrics as a daily ritual. The generation that is single-handedly bringing back the 80's, and last but not least, the generation that watched Ren and Stimpy.
               Well, it's almost five thirty, time to smoke a cigarette, drink some pop, maybe eat some trail mix and fall asleep next to my own albino gorilla underneath my micro-plush heated blanket that he got me for Christmas. Goodnight, or should I say Good Morning.
                                    
                                                            B